THE KIDS

I got the kids this week. 11 Days to be exact...god help me for agreeing to watching them. I love them to death... well, I mean I have to love them they are my niece and nephew but GOD HELP ME. Well at least mom and Mike get them on the weeknights and weekends. Matthew never shuts up but he is adorable. It's going to be Hope that causes the major problem. DAMN IT!!! It's going to be 11 days of "But Aunt Kystal", "He's Lying", and whining. Way too much whining. >Sigh<

Summer

I HATE THE SUMMER! It's like everything round goes desolate. There is no sound within the walls of summer that one wishes to hear. The sounds of friendship are the closest thing to humanity but it seems that over the summer friends become more sparse and then you're left alone to wonder what could have possibly happened. I HATE THE SUMMER! As for my family well let's just say it isn't too great either. My mom and Mike are still fighting like usual and she keeps telling me that she wants to leave him but it's hard because TODAY is their 13 year anniversary. I say that she should kick him to the curb anyway because he never gives her the respect that she deserves. I HATE THE SUMMER! My mom and my brother are also fighting due to the fact that he missed my graduation. My mom says he's lying about him popping the tires on the van and that he got into a wreck, and my brother says that they ran over a piece of metal in the road. My opinion..... he may have hit the metal to pop the tires but what the HELL happened to looking where you are going while driving. If there was a piece of metal that damn big in the middle of the road don't you think you could GO AROUND it. I HATE THE SUMMER! Also it would have been reasonable for him to pick up the phone and actually call someone so that people like me wouldn't get pissed off at the whole damn world because my brother wasn't there for my graduation. I HATE THE SUMMER! Summer gives you all of the time in the world to think about the things that have happened in your life. For example Sunday, I was sitting there in the Geo on the way to town, painful headache pounding but still listening to music. Then it hit me my life SUCKS! For the most part anyway. I am not going to go into detail about everything but here is a bit that has happened to me.... I nearly died when my mom was pregnant with me, I nearly died at birth, my brother tried to choke me to death, my mom was going to put me up for adoption, something else....(don't want to say some things on here).....my grandfather who is like a father to me is dying, my grandmother was in the hospital and if we hadn't of made her go she would probably be dead, I had the scare that my mom may have had cancer, one of my closest friends died while the other one turned her back on the world and became something that she never should have been. I HATE THE SUMMER! Can you tell that my summer isn't going to great. I suppose that the only thing that is good that has happened so far this summer is that I have had the initiative to start working on my autobiography and my fantasy novel. I also got to talk to my friend Steven and he gave me the motive to write a poem. Other than that...you probably know what I am going to say....I HATE THE SUMMER!

His Poem

I close my eyes to the pain
And whipser to myself
That there is someone that exists
That can make it disappear
Then I think about you
And the pain seems to ease
Then I speak my thoughts to you
And it all goes away
I close my eyes to see you
But you aren't completely there
Maybe some day I'll see you face
Because you really will be here
I close my eyes and wait
For the day my dream will come true
The day that we can be
Not just a me and a you
I dream of seeing you here
Instead of only in my dreams
I wipe away the tears
Because I know within my heart
That me dreams are all fantasy
And fantasy is never truth