Here's Your Update!

Okay so here goes with the much needed update of my life. Let's start here.........! My moms boyfriend Jimmy moved in which would be all fine and dandy IF he actually treated my mom with respect, love, and affection she deserved. It's a long story and I don't want to pollute my blog with the details. The other day I lost my phone. *tear tear* The sucky part of it all is that my depression is kicking in. I mean of course it's nowhere as bad as it used to be. There is an up side to life though. His name is Matt. No matter how much life gets me down I always know that I'll have Matt there to help me and support me. Whether I am ranting or crying he is there to listen. He makes me happy when there is nothing else in the world that can. I worry sometimes though that I am going to fuck up once again and he is going to hate me forever. God knows that I definitely don't want to lose him. It just bothers me. Am I going to be too depressed for him, or rant too much, or not open up enough? Will I do something wrong when I have no clue that I am doing it? I know that he won't leave me for any reason like that, at least somewhere inside of me I know. I just worry is all. I've been torn to pieces too many times and when I know that it's time to get back on my feet again someone or something kicks me at the knees and makes me fall again. I know that everything will work out and I know that this is the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Come hell or high water. There is no turning back how I feel for him and I don't want to turn back. I want to keep moving forward at this pace and having the security that he will never leave. Knowing that he will always love me just as much as I love him. It's the greatest feeling in the world that anyone can have. The feeling to be in love and know that that feeling is being given right back to you. It is wonderful to be wanted and to be appreciated and to know that someone would be torn just as much as you if for some God forsaken reason something happened between you. I know that sometimes I will get on his nerves and he mine, even though it hasn't happened yet. I know that sometime in the future we may argue (hopefully not) and we may have rough times but to go right along with those rough times are the good times, the great times, the wonderfully miraculous times. It's worth bearing the storm just to see the rainbow.

TACO!!!

I NEED A TACO!!! ANYONE WANT A TACO!! I WANT A TACO!!!TACO!!! TACO!!! TACO!!!!

P.S. QUESADILLA