When I Close My Eyes

You no longer are here
but you still control my life
I close my eyes and see your face
I dream only nightmares
You ruined my life
Made me believe that I could be happy
You only caused me more pain
You don't deserve the life you live
Plagueing my every thought
Happiness is becoming just a dream
I have a muse now and a love
But you keep me from seeing
You keep me from feeling
I no longer wish you to be here
But you haunt me like a ghost from my past
What did I do to deserve this
Your hands torture me the same way
When I close my eyes
I hear my screams
I see your face
Trying to close the door to the past
Like smoke it covers all around me
Each tear a reminder
Every breath a fight not to surrender
Throat cloes up
All goes black
Screaming inside
When I close my eyes
Can I believe this is real
Don't understand why
Haunted, plagued, and tortured
Everyday a battle to be won
You no longer are here
But you still control my life