My Not So Faerie Tale Life

Okay so this is for everyone that I don't talk to on a day to day basis and just so you all know what's happening in my life. Let's start from a little before the holidays. A week or so before Thanksgiving I came home from living in North Carolina with Andrew (biggest mistake of my life was moving but I digress). I was already upset about having to come home but I dealt with it. When I got here I kept trying to call Andrew and he never picked up well come to find out a few days later he breaks up with me online. It hurt me a lot because I loved him and I couldn't believe he could do something like that to me. Well, he sent my stuff down with his parents but excluded a few things (the expensive things...and my pants). Well, a few days later I see he started dating someone and then come to find out in the long run it was a guy. Whatever I was cool being friends and I started to date my 2 years crush Matt (thank you Jason Trego). Everything was going great and then Andrew had to start shit with me saying I was being a bitch and everything when I only wanted my stuff back and I was willing to wait until they got the money to send it to me. Well that feud ended and then this happened. A few days before Christmas my mom and Mike(step dad) split up. I was at first very happy about this and now it seems like hell. I hate the man don't get me wrong but he has been the only father I have ever really known. Needless to say my Christmas sucked because of that Me and mom started looking for an apartment and she suggested to him that he gets an apartment and we keep the house. Mike was game and he found an apartment but it wasn't going to be ready until February 1st. We could all deal so he stayed here. We were all jumping for joy. Then my mom started to date this guy that lives across the street(Jimmy). I love the guy I really do except he drinks.....a lot. So now I have to deal with being at home with Mike alone when I'm not running away to Matt's or Becky's because my mom is off having "fun" with her new boy toy. Fine and dandy. Then my best friend Brittany out of all this is grounded. It's okay I could deal (going through withdraw now though). Well, Christmas comes and goes. The only good part was I got cool presents and I went to Matt's grandparents then he came over. Well, here comes the new years. Everything is going smoothly now. There is a whole process worked out and everything. I find out that my grandfather is in the hospital from a breathing attack. Fuck my luck. This had me upset. Well, it's new years eve and I'm at Matt's and I ended up being able to stay the night. Awesomeness. Over the process of the next couple of days I visit my grandfather in the hospital and he looks really bad. Time goes by and at the beginning of last week we find this out. The apartment for Mike fell through and he's getting a loan to keep the house. We can stay as long as we want/need. Okay, this fucking sucks. Then my mom looks for a place to live. She finds a trailer in Crumpton for $10,000 and lot rent is only $240 a month. Damn, double whammy. Now I have to move but not just to town no...all the way to Crumpton. Oh, and did I tell you that through all of this my mom is slowly becoming an alcoholic. Hurray for me. NOT!!! Anyway, then today I find out there is a ray of hope. The trailer was sold on Saturday and there is a place for sale in town. AWESOME!!!! So we'll see what happens from here on out. I'll keep you posted. I love you all. I miss you Brittany. Oh and I left some stuff out. I'm going to NC this weekend to get my shit back, I have to move away from Matt (who now lives like 2 minutes away...I can deal I suppose), and I can get a job if we move to town.

I Wanted You To Know

I wanted you to know I hate it when you're calm
Just sitting there all alone with you; no smile; no frown
I wanted you to know I hate it when you're distant
Just want to feel your touch; want to know your love
I wanted you to know I hate it when you look away
Just looking in your eyes I get lost but feel so safe
I wanted you to know I hate it when you leave
Just feel so alone but tomorrows another day

I wanted you to know I love it when you hold me close
Just feel like you're never going to let go; you'll never let me fall
I wanted you to know I love it when you make me laugh
Just my smile makes me feel stronger, makes me feel alive
I wanted you to know I love it when you tease me
Just lets me know in a small way that you're really paying attention
I wanted you to know I love it when you comfort me
Just lets me know that you will always be there

I wanted you to know I'm sorry for crying
Just glad that you understand
I wanted you to know I'm sorry for leaving
Just know I'll always come back
I wanted you to know I'm sorry for getting angry
Just believe it's never because of you
I wanted you to know I'm sorry for making fun
Just know it's only because I like you

I wanted you to know I want to make you happy
Just trying my hardest and hoping it's working
I wanted you to know I want to stand beside you
Just to be there no real reason why at all
I wanted you to know I want to touch you
Just feel your every feature and keep it in my head
I wanted you to know I want you in my life
Just to be there beside me and make me happy

I wanted you to know that I love you
Just thought you'd want to know because I do and always will.